Sunday, May 12, 2013

Happy Mother's Day

Last year I wrote a story about my son for a contest.  It ended up getting good reviews on it. So in honor of mothers day I thought I would share it with you all.

On May 24, 2006 I met a baby boy angel.Rewind nine months ago, I was working on my graduation project for college. I was stressed out and trying to make sure everything was perfect for my presentation that will hopefully get me a job in the field I was going for. In that time I hadn't realized I missed my cycle, I tossed the thought to being under pressure with graduating. During this time, I met a man that I feel in love with at the time. We had a few pregnancy scares but they were all false.Weeks had passed since my graduation presentation and my cycle never showed up. I had gone out and got that pink and white box. After purchasing it, I went home to take the dreaded test. I washed my hands, and then peeked over that at test. My heart sunk into my stomach, two pick lines appeared in the little window. The father of the baby was in just in as much shock as I was after I told him the test came out positive. I went to a Planned Parenthood clinic; they told me I was six weeks pregnant. After finding out more information, I went to break it to my parents.I was raised as catholic, getting pregnant before marriage was a huge no in the church eyes.When I finally told me parents, they were beyond pist at me; they were in fact disappointed with reactions. The father’s family wasn't much helpful or happy for the good news. I finally made an appointment with an actual OBGYN doctor, with that set up, it was time to start making arrangements for how I was going to bring this unexpected life into the world.My relationships with my family were strained over the months leading up to the birth of my son. I felt like an outcast when I was around them. I could see the joy in my mother’s eyes when talking about her other grand kids but failed at times to mention a new one being brought into the world. My mother had wanted me to lie about when the baby was due, pushing the date a month back for what reason I’ll know never, she never gave me a straight answer. I had realized that having this baby wasn't the best of times in my life however, I have always believed and still do that everything happens for a reason and that God wanted me to have him in my life. I trekked on the months to his birth, making sure I had everything in place to give him the best life I could give him. My relationship with my family was still a hit or miss with them but I put the negative feelings behind me knowing it wasn't worth it.The morning of his birth, I was a nervous wreck. My mind was filled with doubts about raising a child when I was a child myself. I walked into the OR room for my C-section, my legs shaking, my heart beating fast like it was going to leap out of my chest. I took a seat on the table, my feet hanging off the side, ready for the epidural to be given to me. The nurse helped me move to lay flat on the table, as they finished up the getting things set up to bring my son into the world.As I laid there looking above me as the doctors and nurses talked among themselves, I began to feel panicked, and began to cry for the I couldn't feel myself breath even thou I was because I was talking to them. The doctor keep tell me he’s almost here, he’s almost here but he wasn't. So I felt the pushing on my stomach and I knew it was time. The conversation when back to the summer plans for the doctor, and then I heard the most beautiful sound in the world.At 9:15am, tears filled my eyes up, as the doctor announced that my son was born. A weight at that moment lifted off my chest for he was finally here. I was both crying and laughing hearing his cries as they was cleaned up, measured and weighted. The nurse brought him over to my side, wrapped up tightly in a blanket, he was perfect. I moved my head placing a kiss on his little pink cheek, telling him I loved him.After I was cleaned up, recovered from the surgery, I was wheeled to the NICU, for he was having a few problems. He was lying in the bed, looking around, the nurse lowered the glass where I was able to reach out and touch him. Finally getting a look at him, he was perfect and so long in length.

I reached out to his hand; his little fingers grasped my finger, for only being a few hours old, he had agrip on him. I was officially a mother but I had to wait to hold him in my arms until after I was settled in my room.The time had finally come; I was settled in my room, resting when my baby boy came into the room with the nurse. She lifted him to my arms, tears streamed down my cheeks, but it was happy tears. I felt a sense of calm wash over me and the words I said when I held him was he was heavy. My baby boy came into the world big weight nine pounds and fifteen ounces.The blessing of being a mother is a gift from god. Each day is filled with something new and exciting that never gets old. I never knew how wonderful it is to be loved by a child, it is an awesome feeling to hear the words I love you mommy hold more power over my heart than if a family member or my significant other said them to me.Six years later, being a mother had taught me some much about myself. Without it i wouldn't have realized how strong I am or what I am now capable of. I have learned that I need to put my son first in life. Anything I do I have to make sure it’s good enough for not just me but also for him.Without him coming into my life, I would be a different person, one that I might now want to be.

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